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My children have four highly intelligent grandfathers who don’t do relationship or emotional smarts.
Many people wake up in a relationship that detracts from them and/or leaves them frustrated because they have things, like intelligence, that they’re blinded by that they use to override if not outright deny and obliterate real concerns in the relationship. What you place a high value on in others says a lot about what you value or even overvalue in yourself or what you want someone else to bolster you with.
Substitute ‘intelligence’ for whatever quality that you require and the computer will still spit out the same answer.
There’s no point in being with an intelligent person that treats you poorly or is emotionally disconnected.
Many of us fall into the trap of giving ourselves too much credit.
We become attracted to someone, they possess certain qualities and characteristics and then we correlate it to the rest of them and assume that because we’re attracted to them, that they’re someone that’s ‘right’ for us that can give us the relationship we want.
I know a hell of lot of people who have low or even zilch self-esteem that are very high achievers. Because they have the knowledge and the skills and can just ‘get on with it’, and particularly if they avoid their feelings and intimacy and bury themselves in their intelligence or work, plus they get recognition and feel respected and good in that field, it’s an easier way of getting validation.Being intelligent is about having the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills.However being intelligent is not the same as being relationship smart, emotionally smart, or even street smart.It’s also easier when you are intelligent and very good in your field because you follow a path, there are specific skills, methodologies, theories, textbooks etc that you follow and generate results.